Messed up Hetalia Tales
by Ika234789
Summary: A collection of Hetalia fairy tale story's what more needs to be said. I have only got one story up now but more will be added later and warning some of the story's will have yaoi.


Little red ridding hood~

Ika: Um where is Romano?

Ocean/Editor: Shit how did we already lose are main character for this story?

Spain: Found him!

Romano: Let me go tomato bastard!

France: Where was he?

Spain: Hiding behind Germany.

Ika: Seriously?

Austria: Enough, let's get this story started already.

Ika: Wait shouldn't we tell everyone who plays who?

Austria: Ah, yes, I play the Mother, France/Hunter, Romano/Little Red, Spain/Wolf and the narrators are Ika and Ocean/Editor.

Ocean/Editor: Um lets start the story now.

* * *

Once upon a time, there was a little girl named little Red Riding hood. Everyone adored her, and she was the sweetest girl, "I am a guy," Romano screamed. I mean the sweetest guy you could ever meet. One day little reds mother came up to him and asked if he could deliver a basket to his grandmothers house in the woods, "Little Red can you deliver this basket to your grandmother for me?" and being the kind guy little red was, he couldn't say no.

"I don't want to go, do it yourself!" Little red hissed. "That's not how the story goes, you idiot! Seriously, you're supposed to be sweet!" Ika screamed, from offstage. "Fine, I'll take the stupid basket!" Little red shouted, grabbing the basket. Little Reds mother thanked his son, but warned him. "Be careful, try to talk to strangers. Don't stay on the path, got it?" Little reds mother sighed. "You just basically told me all the wrong things! What kind of mother are you Austria?" little red shouted. "Quiet! I don't do parenting now just leave" little reds mother huffed.

Little Red started heading down the path into the forest. A little bit further down the path in a small clearing was a wolf lying in the grass. "I'm so hungry," the wolf mumbled, looking around. Spotting something red in the distance, 'what could that be?' the wolf wondered moving a bit closer, to get a better look. "A boy? Well, looks like I found something to eat," the wolf smirked. "How long does it even take to get to grandmothers house?" Little red grumbled kicking a rock into the distance. "Don't kick the props offstage, you idiot." Ocean yelled. Um anyway, Little red had remembered his mothers warnings, but he soon found himself stopped at the side of the road staring at the beautiful scenery, not even noticing the approaching wolf.

"Excuse me sir, I couldn't help but notice you all alone out here in the dangerous woods. Is there a reason?" the wolf asked. Startled by the sudden voice, Little red turned around and head butted the wolf. Wait what? "What the fuck was that Romano? You aren't supposed to hit him." Ika screamed. "Why little red, that was mean," the wolf wined. "That's it, we are taking a short intermission, since our wolf is hurt and our little red needs a juice box it seems," Ocean exclaimed, stepping onto the stage.

(a/n we are sorry for the short intermission blame Romano)

Okay, where was I? Oh! Little red turned around to the sudden voice, to see a wolf. "Um yes I have to deliver this basket to my grandmothers house." Little Red murmured. "I see, what a lucky grandmother, to be able to receive a basket from a beautiful young lad." The wolf smiled kissing little reds hand. "That wasn't supposed to be in the play," Ika murmured. "Who cares GO SPAMONO!" Ocean screamed.

Anyway Little red always heard story's about wolf's and how manipulative they were he even remembered his mothers warning to avoid them, but he suddenly found himself ignoring all the stories and warnings as soon as he heard the wolf's beautiful voice, and felt the touch of the wolfs lips upon his hand. "What the hell narrator?" Little red shouted. "Ika, what happened to not changing the story?" Ocean asked. "Oh, well, Spain paid me to put some new things in the story so…." Ika trailed off. "Okay then, lets just continue." Ocean said.

Little red had decided he could trust this wolf. "Well someone has to deliver the basket. My grandmother lives pretty far, just down that path you see" Little red stuttered, pointing in the direction of his grandmother's house. The wolf suddenly had an idea. "Look at those beautiful flowers wouldn't your grandmother love those?" the wolf asked. "I already have to take this basket to her why the hell should take more?" Little red complained.

"Pick the flowers or I will kill you" Ika screeched. Fearing for his life but not because of the wolf little red began picking flowers "I should be going but good luck on your quest" the wolf winked, running off into the forest. The encounter with the wolf had caused quite a stir with Little Red, that he decided he should hurry and pick the last of his flowers.

When Little Red finally finished, he continued down the path till he saw his grandmother's house, with the door wide open. "How strange," little red muttered, walking into the house. "Grandmother are you home? I was forced to bring you something!" Little red shouted. "In here," a deep voice said. Little Red walked into the bedroom, to see his grandmother looked quite a bit strange. "Hello there sweetie," the grandmother said. "Grandmother, what a deep voice you have." Little red exclaimed. "The better to greet you with," the grandmother exclaimed. "Goodness, what big eyes you have," Little Red gasped. "The better to see you with," the grandmother pulled the covers up more. "And what big hands you have!" little red said. "The better to hug you with," the grandmother informed smiling. What a big mouth you have," little red said staring wide-eyed.

"The better to eat you with" the grandmother said before she pounced on top of little red. "Your not my grandmother, you're that wolf! What did you do with my grandmother? Where is she!" Little Red cried. "I don't know? The house was empty when I got here. Now, be quiet and let me eat you." The wolf smirked, licking up little reds neck, slowly stripping his shirt off.

"WAIT!" Ika screeched, "You are supposed to eat him, not rape him!" Ika shouted. "That's what I'm doing," the wolf said licking down little reds chest. "Get off of me this is the wrong kind of eating you bastard!" Little Red screamed. "Dang it! Where is that hunter?" Ika murmured. "What is with all the commotion?" A voice shouted, 'finally," Ika thought. Little red was struggling with the wolf when, suddenly, he heard the sound of someone else coming near. "Help, wolf!" Little Red shouted. Running footsteps could be heard, and suddenly a man ran into the bedroom, holding a gun towards the wolf. "I suggest you let go of the lad," the hunter said. "I don't want to, I want this boy to be my mate!" the wolf exclaimed, holding little red like he was his life support.

The hunter dropped his gun in shock, "the heck wolf? If you want this boy to be your mate, you can't go and rape him. Try and win his heart first," The hunter said. "Did France just go off script?" Ika asked, "Yes, He did." Ocean snickered. "I see your point hunter, so I shall try and win the boys heart first." The wolf smiled.

"I want to go home," Little red murmured. "You want me to meet your parents so soon? Okay!" The wolf cheered, picking little red up. "Wait no I meant…." Little red was cut off with a kiss. "You tomato bastard" Little red screamed, kicking the wolf. "Um, we need to end this story Ika." Ocean exclaimed. "I know, but Spain kissing Romano was defiantly was not in the script. We were going to end it with the hunter, but now we have to rely on Austria." Ika sighed. "Oh hell no" Ocean yelled. "Sadly, yeah. Now, start narrating I will get Austria ready." Ika exclaimed, running off.

Little red was soon carried off with the hunter following closely behind. After arguing and lots of love advice from the hunter, they all decided to head back to little reds house. Little red sadly didn't like this idea one bit. "We're here." Little Red pointed towards the house. "Great, let's go." The wolf smiled. "We need to knock first," the hunter informed them, walking up to the door.

The door opened "Little red is that you?..." The mother cut himself off when he saw the scene. "My, what a beautiful mother you have, why isn't he your father though? May I ask," the hunter said. "He acts more like a mother, and my father acts more like a mother. So it turned out that way." Little Red exclaimed. "I see, well I hope your mother doesn't mind having dinner with me sometime" the hunter smirked, "Ika did you change the script again?" Ocean hissed. "Sorry this time France paid me" Ika rubbed her head sheepishly.

Well anyways, it seemed the hunter had found our dear little reds mother attractive, but that's nothing to be concerned about for now. Our main concern is about the wolf and little red situation? "Little reds mother, I would like your permission to date little red and one day make him my mate," the wolf stated bluntly. "Alright," the mother bluntly replied, probably wanting this story to end already. Just like the narrators. "Thank you, so much." The wolf said, before running off with little red, into the forest. The hunter turned back to the mother, "So…" the hunter started, but was cut off by a door slamming in his face.

You could say everyone got there happily ever after the wolf lives in the forest with his dear little red, that learns to tolerate the wolf and the hunter still tries to win the heart of the mother, but fails epically. THE END


End file.
